Should I Attend My Friend's Same Sex Wedding?
Recently I served as a panelist at our church’s weekend services to answer questions
about faith, the Bible, and Christian living. One of the questions I found intriguing was:
“Should I attend my friend’s (or family member’s) same-sex marriage ceremony to be
supportive?” Good question.
After pondering this subject a while, I have a firm conviction. However, before sharing
that conclusion, we need to make a few clarifications:
You’re reading a website designed for Christians who want to grow in following Jesus. If you’re reading this and not a Christian, you’re welcome to read on, but please know that you probably won’t understand the perspective I represent since you come from a totally different worldview.
The Bible doesn’t speak specifically to this issue (attending a same sex wedding), since such a thing didn’t exist when the Bible was written. Thus, I’ll give my perspective, which I believe is strongly supported by Scripture, and you’ll have to make your own decision as a Christ-follower if faced with this issue.
A foundational issue is the question of practicing homosexuality itself and if it is a viable option biblically. I wrote on this topic in an article titled, What Scripture Says about Homosexuality: Uncut, Uncensored and Unedited. In that article I laid out the Scriptures, from both the Old and New Testaments, which clearly show that the Bible prohibits same-sex sexual relationships and conversely endorses sex within the marriage of a man and a woman. Please read that article if you have questions about this.
Another foundational issue is the possibility that a same sex marriage might be biblically permissible. After all, some vehemently claim “God made me gay.” And, “If you got a problem with who I am, your problem is not with me -- your quarrel, sir, is with my creator.” These were the words of presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg, mocking U.S.A. Vice President Mike Pence, a born-again Christian. Buttigieg claims to be a Christian but is in a “same sex marriage,” living in denial of biblical teaching and 3,000 years of biblical practice. If his argument were valid, couldn’t a husband claim that God made him desire sex with many women, therefore his wife has to put up with his infidelities because God “made him that way.” “Your problem my dear, is with my Creator, not with me” he could try to say. Of course, she wouldn’t buy it, and neither would God! It’s a ridiculous argument.
Christians are not obsessed with this topic, our culture is. For 3,000 years same sex marriage wasn’t an issue—it was unimaginable. Now our culture and courts have created a new “right” and are imposing it on others, insisting that we get on the “right side of history,” or be crushed. Nevertheless, we must not.
Here are 3 reasons I don’t believe a Christian should attend a same sex wedding to be supportive:
1. A wedding is a celebration.
One thing that should be obvious is that a wedding is a celebration. People can get married in front of a judge with a couple of witnesses and no celebration. But they hold a wedding ceremony as a celebration of their union. There is usually the pomp and circumstance of a processional, special music, the wedding march, vows, and other formalities. Then afterwards there is a reception with a wedding cake, nice food, toasts, dancing, and so on.
2. A same sex wedding is a celebration of what the Bible clearly calls sin.
Practicing homosexuality is clearly forbidden by God in the Bible, no matter what the US
Scriptures). Are you sure as a Christ-follower, you want to help celebrate the sharing of
vows to practice what the Bible calls sin and warns against in the strongest of terms?
“But it’s legal” you might say. But in Nevada, prostitution is legal. If you were asked to
attend the Opening Ceremony of a house of prostitution, would you go to “be
supportive?” I hope not.
3. Instead of “go and sin no more” a same sex wedding says, “go and defy God.”
The account of Jesus saving the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11 is a wonderful
story of His love and mercy. Jesus wants us to be loving and merciful also. However, He
doesn’t want us to encourage others to defy His teaching. That account is a deliverance
FROM sin, to sin no more. Jesus’ final words in verse 11 are famous, “Go and sin no
A same sex wedding says the exact opposite: “Let’s celebrate the homosexual practice in
this relationship, in defiance of God.” It’s a completely opposite outcome—it is saying,
“Go and enjoy your sinfulness.”
Often we Christians don’t want to resist the culture because we’re afraid of being
ostracized, or shunned or called “homophobic” or “haters.” However, I’m not at all
suggesting that any Christian condemns or treats their friends with unkindness or disdain.
In fact, the best approach might be just to say, “I’m sorry I can’t make it to the wedding
ceremony” and leave it at that.
Some might argue, “But what you are saying is so counter cultural.” My answer is
Romans 12:2a “Do not be conformed to this world…” In other versions it reads, “Don’t
copy the behavior and customs of this world…” (NLT) “Don’t let the world around you
squeeze you into its own mould…” (JB Phillips)
A FINAL NOTE:
I’m a sinner just like everyone else. Thank God for His plan of salvation which you can
learn about HERE.
To help you in the new life in Christ, we have created a series of lessons called
“Discipleship Journeys with Jesus.” They’re available online without cost at djjministry.org.
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