6 Bad Approaches To The Gay Marriage Ruling And 1 Good One

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In the days since the Supreme Court decision on “gay marriage” there has been much written on it from a Christian perspective. I have read my fair share. Some has been very insightful and helpful. Others have caused me to be concerned.

CC Image courtesy of Fibonacci Blue on Flickr https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Here’s my take on the dialog and approaches I’ve seen Christians taking, not only since the ruling but also over the last year or so.

Here are 6 Bad Approaches to the Gay Marriage Ruling for Christians and 1 Good One:

01. Bad: a Head in the Sand Approach 

Too many Christ-followers were surprised by this decision, even though most political observers expected and predicted it.

Christians, we need to be aware of the issues of the day AND be involved as appropriate. I am not suggesting we fixate on politics and policies, as I explain below. But we need to be knowledgeable and involved as God leads.

Jesus said, “Render to Caesar that which is Caesar’s” (Mark 12:17). Not only should that mean paying our taxes, it also means participating in our participatory government and the democratic process.

If you are not voting, you are not participating as God and your government expects.

Vote and vote knowledgeably. Participate in other ways as God leads.

02. Bad: a Hating, Raging and Condemning Approach 

Although not as prevalent as the media and others would have us believe, there are indeed some Christians who indulge in raging tirades about this issue and others. Unfortunately, they are caustic and condemning to the point of being offensive to any reasonable person on either side of the issue.

The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1).

And, “Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out” (Colossians 4:6 MSG).

I understand these people’s concerns: they are fearful of homosexual indoctrination in our public schools, of recruitment to the homosexual lifestyle of their children, of being forced to accept what the Bible clearly calls sin and being persecuted and even prosecuted if they don’t endorse and perform “gay marriages.”

But being mean-spirited, calling names and being unkind is offensive to God as well as it is to others.

I have tried to tell the truth without name-calling and unkindness. Hopefully the Lord is pleased.

03. Bad: an “Itching Ears” Approach 

This is the approach the Apostle Paul described in, “For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions” (2 Timothy 4:3 ESV).

I read a blog by a leading pastor who suggested that if we want to reach people we must never “judge” them.

A favored verse for many these days is, “judge not lest you be judged” (Matthew 7:1).

But the idea there is to not be judgmental and hypocritical, not that we can never determine what is biblical and unbiblical, godly and ungodly. Right after Jesus said that He also taught, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits” (Matthew 15:15-16a ESV).

He also said in that same chapter, “Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you” (Matthew 15:6 ESV).

I believe strongly in Paul’s admonition, “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Corinthians 9:22 ESV). We should do whatever it takes to help people find Jesus.

What Paul was talking about was “being all things” to people on neutral issues, not sinful issues. He was talking about reaching out without violating God’s Word and its teaching. When there was an issue of sin, he condemned it vigorously as he did homosexuality in Romans 1.

Some of these same Christians are refusing to call sin what it is, but are quick to condemn fellow believers if they do so. Wow, whose side are they on?

If Scripture teaches clearly on a subject, we must stand firm. We don’t need to ride it like a hobbyhorse, but address pertinent issues and speak the truth.

04. Bad: a Fixated on the News and Agitated Approach

Perhaps you know some of these folks—maybe you are one of them. They watch Fox News, MSNBC, CNN or listen to talk radio all day every day and are obsessed with the issues.

These people seem to be in a constant state of agitation. I would be too! News broadcasting is designed to draw our attention to things that are troubling, controversial or unusual so that news broadcasters can keep their ratings up.

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2 ESV)

Stay informed, but don’t obsess. I suggest listening to the daily podcast by Albert Mohler and besides that listen to great Bible teachers on TV, radio and in podcasts.

My fellow believers, let’s keep the Main Thing the Main Thing. News and views come and go. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the main thing.

05. Bad: an Abandon the Bible Approach 

Some believers are so opposed to saying that the homosexual lifestyle is sin that they are willing to abandon biblical teaching on the issue. Or they do fancy theological footwork to avoid biblical teaching.

I answered these in my blog, “What the Bible Says About Homosexuality: Uncut, Uncensored and Unedited.”

06. Bad: a Don’t Rock the Boat Approach 

This approach is different from the “Head in the Sand Approach” in that these people know what the issues are, but prefer to look the other way for fear of offending someone.

It is also different from the “Itching Ears Approach” as that approach is based on a passage that is talking about “teachers” and leaders.

This approach is the one employed by all those who claim to be Christians, but who refuse to ever speak out for the truth of God’s Word.

They might even celebrate with their homosexual friends or family members and “lovingly” stand in solidarity, wearing the rainbow colors and declaring “love wins.”

The problem with this “Don’t Rock the Boat Approach” is that God’s truth is never declared and the opportunity to win a soul for Christ is lost.

Those in this camp want to believe in a “Gentle Jesus Meek and Mild” and ignore the authoritative Jesus who threw over the tables of the moneychangers.

If you want to be like Jesus, be like this: “And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes” (Matthew 7:28, ESV).

This is the same approach of those who refused to speak out against slavery when the Dred Scott Supreme Court decision declared owning black slaves legal.

This is the same approach of those who refused to stand with Dietrich Bonheoffer and the Dissenting Church when they opposed Hitler and his hateful holocaust.

Believers must stand for truth. 

“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them” (Ephesians 5:11 ESV).

07. Good: a Speak the Truth in Love Approach 

The best approach is almost always balance. In this issue the balance is in “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).

Rather than shying away from the truth or burying it in our message of love, or out and out denying Scripture, we should speak the truth as lovingly as possible.

If we speak truth, some will always label us “haters” and accuse us of picking on the gay issue. 

But is a police officer a “hater” when he tells me I ran a stop sign and gives me a ticket? In my humiliation and frustration he is a hater. But in truth, he is just doing his job.

Is a parent a hater when giving rules to protect a child? No, that parent is just doing his or her job.

Let’s do our job of speaking the truth in love. 

Let’s do our job of speaking the truth in love. | CLICK TO TWEET

I tried to share how Christians can do this in my article, Seven Guidelines for Discussing Gay Marriage.

Some might accuse me of fixating on this issue. However, I am writing about it because it is a topic of great interest that people want answers for. It just happens to be at the top of the news and the top of people’s minds.

Furthermore, it is a behavior that is being condoned which the Bible says is wrong. In this way it is a direct assault on biblical truth and quite different from other issues that are virtually universally condemned, such as most of the other sins listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10: “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (ESV)

People want answers, and that’s why I do what I do. I hope it is helpful for you.

I have written about other sins, as well. See my articles such as:

• Forgiveness is So Important It’s Scary!

• 3 Acceptable Sins You Can Enjoy Today…or NOT!

• Why I Burned My Sister at the Stake

• How to Take Control of Anger Before it Takes Control of You

• How to Porn-proof Your Mind and Marriage

Now it is time to speak biblical truth in love on this issue.

I hope you will do so as well.

What To Do When The White House Celebrates Sin

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Perhaps you haven’t seen the photo below of the White House draped in the symbolic rainbow colors of the LGBT movement.

This celebration comes from a president who just a few years ago (when running for office) said that he supported normal heterosexual marriage.

Now the president is showing his true colors. 

President Obama, at least in the election season, claimed to be a born again Christian. I read his “testimony” on his website. It sounded sincere.

Unfortunately, it appears his faith is in whatever he wants to believe, not in the God of the Christian faith and His Word, the Bible.

The source of Truth for Christianity is the Bible. Christians have abundant evidence that it alone is the inspired, inerrant Word of God. See my article 4 Reasons You Can Love and Trust the Bible Today to see just a sample of that evidence.

But apparently President Obama doesn’t follow the Bible and his truth source is whatever he wants to believe. This is frightening and leads to the same kind of chaos as happened in Israel when “everyone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 21:25 ESV).

Now he might, like others, try to explain away what the Bible says about homosexuality. However, that is dishonest, as I show in my article What the Bible Says About Homosexuality: Uncut, Uncensored and Unedited.

Church historian, Diarmaid MacCulloch, a homosexual himself, was honest enough to admit this saying:

This is an issue of biblical authority. Despite much well-intentioned theological fancy footwork to the contrary, it is difficult to see the Bible as expressing anything else but disapproval of homosexual activity, let alone having any conception of homosexual identity. The only alternatives are either to cleave to patterns of life and assumptions set out in the Bible, or say that in this, as in much else, the Bible is simply wrong. (The Reformation: A History, 705).

So what should true believers who don’t make their own laws but follow God’s laws do in the face of the deceptions of the day?

Here are 4 things to do when the White House celebrates what the Bible calls sin: 

01. Hang Tough to God’s Standard

In 1857 the Supreme Court, in another terribly wrong judgment, declared persons of African decent to be non-humans, able to be bought and sold as slaves.

Thank God that tragic Dred Scott ruling was later reversed. 

The turnaround of that terrible Supreme Court decision came as the result of the abolition movement led mostly by Christians and the catastrophic Civil War. Likewise, Christians must stand tough, speak truth, work and pray that this recent tragic decision is also reversed.

02. Speak the Truth in Love

Personally, I would prefer to talk about other things. But when forced by current trends to address this subject, Christians should speak up and declare God’s truth.

Marriage is not the center of our message. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the center.But as we are able we must be “salt and light” (Matthew 5:13-16) in our communities and speak truth.

Marriage is not the center of our message. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is the center. | CLICK TO TWEET

And we must do so in as civilly and lovingly as possible, as I wrote about in my article: Seven Guidelines for Discussing Gay Marriage.

03. Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing 

What America needs more than anything is not a reversal of this decision by the Supreme Court, or other tragic decisions such as Roe v. Wade.

What does America need? We need the transforming power of the Gospel in individual lives. We need salvation. We need, if you will, a revival.

A genuine relationship with Jesus Christ is what truly changes people’s hearts and renders legal battles over moral issues irrelevant as a society is permeated with biblical Christianity.

So don’t be so concerned with sharing your conviction about this issue. Instead, be passionate about sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For those who become true followers of Jesus, this issue of “gay marriage” will be automatically settled. But more importantly their eternal destiny will be settled.

Pray for the president, the Supreme Court, legislators, and those who support “gay marriage.” It’s OK to pray they change their minds on this issue. But most of all, pray that they find true salvation through Christ.

04. Rest in Christ Instead of Being Agitated 

Over 30 states voted and “we the people” said we wanted only traditional marriage, including my own state of California. Now 5 of 9 people on the Supreme Court have “bullied” America into recognizing “gay marriage.”

Does that make me angry? Yes, on one level. But on another level I have peace because my faith is not in our government, or in anything else on earth.

My hope is in the Lord. 

“If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:1)

How To Be Successful In Life When You Have Failed

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Recently I was asked to make a 150 word contribution for an upcoming book by answering this question: “What has been your biggest failure as a church planter and what did you learn from this failure?”

Here’s my response:

My biggest failure was forgetting that Jesus said, “I will build my church” and instead seeing it as my job to build the church. The result was that I placed undue stress on myself and my family. I burned myself out and became depressed trying to do what Jesus said He would do. My efforts at church growth were good, but I put my trust in theories and methods instead of God’s sovereign work.

Now I have learned that Jesus is the boss of His church and the builder of His church. “If the Lord does not build the house, it is useless for the builders to work on it” (Psalm 127:1 GW). He might not build His church the way I would, but that’s OK, it’s not my house, it is His.

I appreciate the words of D. L. Moody, “Pray like everything depends on God. Work like everything depends on you.” My goal would be less striving and stress, more prayer and trust.

So that’s my short answer. But you might wonder how that works?

Here are 3 actions you can take to be successful even when you have failed:

01. Refuse to Focus on the WRONG Thing

Who would want to endure a major failure, a terrible national disaster, or a “plucking up” of what has been planted? (Jeremiah 45:4)? Such was the situation that kept Baruch, Jeremiah’s secretary, awake at night constantly groaning.

Yuck! That terrible situation would make me groan, too. I struggle to handle failures, setbacks and disasters. I long for accomplishment, admiration, and success. Don’t you?

But God’s instruction was: “And do you seek great things for yourself? Seek them not…” (Jeremiah 45:5a ESV) 

It is so easy to focus on the wrong thing—seeking great things. But God had an important message for Baruch and for us. God wants us to refuse to focus on the wrong thing.

02. Set your Mind on the RIGHT Thing: Seek to Know and Please Jesus

Instead of seeking “great things,” what should we seek? We must seek to know Jesus and to please Him – that alone – whether it brings what people consider success or failure.

The Apostle Paul briefly recounted his great “successes” in Philippians 3. But his point was not his personal greatness; it was the triviality of all human accomplishments, when compared to knowing Jesus.

His conclusion was: “But Christ has shown me that what I once thought was valuable is worthless. Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage. All I want is Christ and to know that I belong to him.”(Philippians 3:7 – 9a CEV)

Real success comes from knowing and pleasing Christ. | CLICK TO TWEET

No matter how we might look to others, we are a success if we are children of God and working to please Him.

03. ACCEPT God’s Plan for You

As we trust Christ, it is possible that we might not achieve the dreams of success we have set our eyes on. But we might not achieve those dreams even if that is our sole focus.

The beauty of trusting Christ is that we are a success no matter what happens! We can’t lose if our goal is Christ—either in this life or in eternity.

The Apostle Paul testified to this truth saying, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).

Wow! As Christ followers we can’t lose! | CLICK TO TWEET

So, do you seek “great things for yourself?” Seek them not. And don’t seek failure and disaster either. Neither of these should be our aim.

If success is our goal, we will end up with “garbage,” even if we are “successful.” If knowing and pleasing Christ is our goal, we will be filled with His love, peace, assurance, hope, joy, comfort and grace. That is true greatness and success.