This WWII Soldier Died That I Might Live

An odd but true story of my family history.

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A WWII soldier died that I might live, in a strange but true way. Many who know our family aren’t aware of this story. That’s understandable, it was not the kind of story we necessarily wanted to remember or celebrate. In fact, it was a little awkward for me.

Provided by jpellgen via flicker.com

You see, soon after high school my mother married a young man also living in upstate New York who soon went off to the war. His name was Robert Cotanche.

I don’t know much of their story. Apparently they met in high school. Based on a very brief conversation with someone who knew them, I understand that mom’s parents, (grandpa was a pastor) thought they were too young and weren’t too happy with the marriage. But marry they did, and then soon he was off to war in Europe.

Both knew there was a chance he wouldn’t return. Sure enough that soldier died, like so many others, in WWII.

We still have the explanation letter my mother received from a Chaplain. According to the letter, Robert was killed, not by a bullet or bomb, but in a Jeep accident, when it slid on ice.

One of my childhood memories is visiting his parents when my mother drove us kids to New York state to visit her parents. About all I remember was the awkwardness of seeing Robert’s parents, who were somehow related, but not really, and were connected to the story of my mother’s first marriage.

My dear mother was probably only about 20 years old when she got the news that her soldier husband had died in the war. Wow, I wonder, what was that like? Did she think that life was over? Did she feel like God had abandoned her?

Mom eventually died in 1995 at age 69 and I’ll never get to ask her, until perhaps in heaven. And maybe I’ll meet and chat with Robert there also. Maybe I’ll get to thank him for serving our country.

But life wasn’t over for mom. She enrolled in Houghton College in Houghton, New York, and there met my father, Claude Aaron Williams, Jr. The story is that he was a real jerk—a soda jerk that is. That was the term for someone running an old-fashioned soda fountain. He worked in the college soda fountain and snack bar.

Their romance grew, and they were married August 28, 1949. I was born March 15, 1955.

That’s the family history, and here’s the interesting insight for me: If Robert hadn’t died in the war, I wouldn’t be here!

I wouldn’t have had a chance to exist as…

• Mom would be married to Robert and not my dad

• They would have likely had little Cotanche babies

• She wouldn’t have gone to Houghton College

• She wouldn’t have met my dad

You see it’s literally true, that soldier died that I might live. My head spins a little as I contemplate the implications.

So, what can you and I learn from this true story?

Here are 3 things I realize as I think about how this soldier died that I might live:

1. I’m deeply grateful for all those who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our country.

It’s great that we have a Memorial Day to remember. It’s good we have memorials in various places around our country to help us recollect the sacrifices, such as those in Washington DC.

It’s easy to forget and there’s a price for not remembering the sacrifices of the past. We ALL lose a piece of ourselves when we forget.

2. I am also deeply grateful for those who have served, and not given their lives.

One soldier died that I might live, but others have also served sacrificially, for which I am grateful:

• My dad Claude served in the Navy in WWII, in battles in the Pacific.

• Carolyn’s dad Stewart Fox served in WWII, in the US Air Force.

• My grandpa Williams served in WWI, in the US Marines.

• My brother Brian currently serves in the US Coast Guard.

• My brother Jonathan has served in the Air National Guard in Operation Desert Storm.

• Our neighborhood just welcomed a Wounded Warrior, Brandon Dodson, into a home on our street, two doors from our own home. Brandon is a double amputee from the recent war in Afghanistan. You can see a short news video about the dedication ceremony HERE and the Gary Sinese Foundation video HERE. Very inspiring.

3. While it is mind-boggling to think that a soldier died that I might live, it is even more mind-boggling that Jesus died that all people might live FOREVER.

Many things in this universe are mind-boggling:

• The size of the universe

• The process of reproduction which brings new lives into the world

• The instinct that tells animals to nurture and train their young

• X-rays, radio waves, laser rays (my wife Carolyn is a laser RN at Dermacare)

• Black holesThat life on this earth exists at all is miraculous

I could go on, but I imagine you agree—the universe is full of almost unbelievable things that are real and verifiable.

One of the most extraordinary facts is that God Almighty came from heaven, was born and lived as the God-man Jesus Christ and then died on the cross for our sins and rose again, to give us eternal life after life on this earth.

Most wonderful of all is the fact that we simply have to receive Jesus’ free gift of salvation to have eternal life after we depart from here!

If you have received this gift, praise God for the One who died that you might live eternally.

If you haven’t yet found assurance of your eternal home, click HERE to learn how to receive this amazing gift.

My parents, Claude and Barbara Williams, early 1950’s. Mom normally signed her name Barbara C. Williams, with the C to honor her first husband Robert Cotanche, who died that I might live.

Help Spread the Word! If you found this article helpful, we’d love for you to share it with others on social media or otherwise. This will help get the Word in front of more people who need biblical guidance. Thanks for your help!

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4 Reasons To Vacation Now Or Be Sorry Later

Treat yourself and your family to something really important.

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As this article is being published, Carolyn and I are on vacation (or a holiday in some cultures). Since our boys are grown up, we now vacation as a couple. But when the boys were younger, we vacationed with them. We’re big believers in vacations and in fact, I believe that those who don’t vacation will regret it later.

No, this isn’t me, but I wish it was! Photo by Robson Hatsukami Morgan on Unsplash

Recently an acquaintance who is the same age as me, said he was retired for 4 years so far. He said, “You’re retired also aren’t you?” Actually, I’m far from retired. In fact, I don’t really want to retire from serving the Lord until I cannot do so any longer. But I definitely do want to keep taking vacations.

And I believe that if we hadn’t taken vacations over the years, Carolyn and I would regret it.

Occasionally I meet people who don’t take vacations, either because they can’t, or more likely they won’t.

Here are 4 reasons to vacation now or be sorry later:

1. We all Need to Rest.

In the Bible, God made it clear that rest is important—so important that He commanded a weekly Sabbath rest. One day out of seven is to be set aside to “vacation.” It is one of the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:8-11).

The same principle is imbedded into the idea of a vacation. Although not commanded in Scripture, vacations are more extended times of rest. This is important because we are not designed to be “on” for 24/7 365 days a year.

The example of rest was so important to God that on the 7th day of creation He rested. Think of it: Did God NEED to rest? No, He was God Almighty. He didn’t need to rest but He rested to set the example for us.

“And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.” (Genesis 2:2-3 ESV)

2. Special Family Times.

The second reason to vacation is that they can be some of the most special family times you ever have.

Think of it: In many situations, kids are at school all day, parents are at work or other pursuits, and in reality, family interaction can be minimal under normal circumstances.

But when you vacation together, there is extended family time: time to create memories, time to enjoy each other, time to be a family.

Many of the most special memories we have as a family came during vacations. Trips to Colorado to be with Carolyn’s sister Gwen—our last one was about 6 months before she died of cancer. I recall with great fondness trips to family reunions every other year with my 2 brothers, 2 sisters and their families.

Camping trips can be inexpensive and create some of the most lasting memories. I used to take our boys to the desert to camp and ride our dirt bike motorcycles. What memories: feeding a desert kangaroo rat, eating “gourmet” hot dogs and beans over our campfire, motorcycles breaking down, our trailer wheel coming off and bounding into the ditch.

Of course, I’m not promising that on vacation, everything will go swimmingly, and everyone will get along perfectly. But even those challenges are part of the togetherness and memory-making.

3. Fresh Perspective.

It’s amazing how much fresh perspective can be gained by getting away. When we get out of the weeds, we begin to see the flowers. We see things differently, especially if the vacation is relaxing and restful. What was discouraging isn’t so bad anymore.

I remember years ago one of the members of my church telling me she noticed that the sermons I gave after a vacation were better than normal. I’m sure she was right and that the reason is because I was refreshed!

This is part of the reason I strongly recommend personal prayer retreats. Too often we can’t see the forest because of the trees. But when we get outside our routine, we see the bigger picture and our perspective freshens.

To take advantage of this time of fresh perspective, I often write down “vacation reflections.” Then I can remember them later when I get home and back in the weeds.

These “vacation reflections” are often along the lines that things are going better than I felt when I left for vacation, that God is blessing more than I had realized and I have much to be thankful for.

Of course, I could come up with these reflections without being on vacation, but the problem is that I’m stuck in the day-to-day grind and it’s hard to see things differently.

4. Learning

The fourth and final benefit of a vacation is the learning. When we go away, we usually learn a lot about the places we’re going, about different ways people do things in other locations, about our family and about ourselves.

The most memorable vacation in the family I grew up in happened when I was 14 years old. Our family of 7 camped in a tent (a fairly large one) on our trip to Florida. Then we stayed in a nice hotel for a few days during my father’s business convention. Next, we camped in the Florida Keys. Then we camped along the Gulf of Mexico as we made our way to Mexico. Then we stayed with missionary friends in Poza Rica, Mexico several fascinating days before camping our way home.

Wow, what memories! And that’s just one of our family forays. Other times we visited grandparents in Michigan and Pennsylvania, aunts and uncles, and so on.

In each of these situations, new “worlds” were opened to us. We learned about family, geography, culture, camping and so on.

IN CONCLUSION: If you don’t take vacations, I think you will regret it later. Take a vacation soon!

Help Spread the Word! If you found this article helpful, we’d love for you to share it with others on social media or otherwise. This will help get the Word in front of more people who need biblical guidance. Thanks for your help!

Additional resources about related subjects on this site:

• Six Tips to Relax and Call it a Day

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• So You Think You Can’t Take a Prayer Retreat?

• Who Needs a Vision Retreat?

• Blessed is the man whose strength is in You…

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How To Deal With Irreconcilable Differences In Marriage

Good marriages go through these 3 stages.

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Irreconcilable differences are often cited as “grounds for divorce.” Obviously, some couples really struggle in this arena. That makes sense to me, but not completely. Carolyn and I were married on August 4, 1979—so we’re about to celebrate 38 years of marriage. Over the years, we’ve learned how to cope with and even appreciate our differences.

Talking with my friend Eric Helmbold a while back, we agreed that the best marriages go through three stages of dealing with their differences. Going through these three stages can make our differences grounds for a great marriage instead of divorce.

Here are 3 stages to go through to deal with irreconcilable differences and create a great marriage:

1. Learning the differences.

Early in relationships there is a lot of learning. We find out that our values and upbringings were different. We learn about differences in personalities, perceptions, and preferences.

Here are some of Carolyn’s and my irreconcilable differences. See if you can guess which of us is which preference:

• One of us likes the temperature pleasingly moderate—the other likes it boiling hot!

• One likes to arrive on time or early—the other likes to be rude and arrive late.

• One likes to ride the fun thrill rides at amusement parks—the other likes the little kiddie rides.

• One likes documentaries and sports on TV — the other likes “Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress!”

The key in this stage is to focus on learning instead of judging because we’re thinking MY values are obviously better, more intelligent, etc.

Early in our marriage one of Carolyn’s legitimate complaints was that I had to be right and I didn’t appreciate that she had a different point of view. I felt that what I was trying to do was obviously the right way since I was smarter—which is proof of how stupid I was!

“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.” (1 Peter 3:7 ESV)

2. Laughing at the differences.

As soon as possible, it is great to get a giggle out of your irreconcilable differences.

I am NOT saying we laugh at our spouse or make fun of their differences or values. But learn to chuckle about things like how one likes the covers off and the other freezes if they’re not piled high.

Examples for us:

• Cleaning the house: Carolyn vacuums the carpet three times before company comes over. We laugh about that and how she likes to virtually comb the carpet.

• Museums: I looked it up and the definition of muse is: “to reflect deeply on something.” Carolyn thinks a museum is a jogging track—or “speed walking” venue. She’s ready to leave about the time I get finished reading the first display!

• Tuna Fish Sandwiches: Our classic giggle is tuna fish sandwiches. At least that’s what I call them, due to my upbringing in the Midwest. But Carolyn thinks that’s dumb. Tuna fish is redundant. Like saying, “I’d like a chicken MEAT sandwich.” So, we “play fight” about it, and have a laugh. We’ve been “fighting” about tuna fish sandwiches for years!

“A joyful heart is good medicine…” (Proverbs 17:22 ESV)

3. Loving the differences.

A mature marriage is one where both spouses realize that part of the strength of marriage is in the irreconcilable differences. We learn from each other, we balance each other, we are stronger when two minds with different vantage points combine to find the best outcome.

In many ways, I’ve come to love how Carolyn is different from me, even if we disagree strongly.

For example, I love the fact that Carolyn wants our house spotless if we’re having company. My mom wasn’t that particular—she figured, “Ya’ll come over, we’ll throw in some extra fish sticks. The house is a little messy, but that okay. Just overlook it.”

But nowadays, because I’m married to Carolyn, I like a spotless house when people come over. Recently I even thanked Carolyn for having me dust my office!

IMPORTANT: Sometimes it seems a conflict is too difficult to be funny, and there is an impasse. In those cases, to resolve conflict it’s helpful to gauge who’s the one that feels most strongly about something and why. When we figure that out, then the other spouse can hopefully bend to accommodate the one who feels strongly.

“The wisdom from above is first of all pure, then peaceful, courteous, not self-willed, full of compassion and kind actions, free from favouritism and from all insincerity.” (James 3:17 WEY)

Over the years Carolyn and I have learned to enjoy and celebrate our irreconcilable differences. They are not problems, they are strengths.

In summary, here are three stages to deal with irreconcilable differences:

• Learning the differences.

• Laughing at the differences.

• Loving the differences.

How have you learned to cope with irreconcilable differences in your marriage?

Your thoughts are welcome! Please leave your comment below.

Help Spread the Word! If you found this article helpful, we’d love for you to share it with others on social media or otherwise. This will help get the Word in front of more people who need biblical guidance. Thanks for your help!

Additional resources about related subjects on this site:

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• Why Did God Create Marriage?

• 4 Simple Yet Powerful Ways to Protect Your Marriage

• Podcast: Is divorce OK if things just aren’t working?

• Podcast: Why did God invent marriage?

NOTE: Facebook is random. Email is reliable. Subscribe via email and you won’t miss any of my articles, podcasts or videos. You’ll also get my eBook: 10 Prayers to Unlock Heaven on Earth