3 Keys To Maintain Unity

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I loved the church I grew up in. But at age 18, I saw the whole thing crumble before my eyes.

This is the church I grew up in and loved.

After a contentious business meeting, about half the church literally got up and left, never to come back again.

This was a gut-wrenching, life-changing experience, both for those who left and those who stayed. For some, it was a faith-shattering experience which they never recovered from.

The issues were complex, and many mistakes were made.

Rather than talking about mistakes, let’s consider what we can do to help preserve unity, based on Philippians 2:1-8.

Here are 3 keys to maintain unity in a church, which can also help any ministry, family and other organization:

01. Make unity a major focus.

“Live in harmony by showing love for each other. Be united in what you think, as if you were only one person.” (Philippians 2:2 CEV)

It’s been interesting to watch the recent presidential debates, especially in the large Republican field. Two candidates will bicker with each other over a subject, each one claiming that the other is wrong. No common voter can truly say who is right and who is wrong.

Then other candidates will chime in criticizing them for criticizing each other. It’s almost comical.

While bickering may be entertaining in politics and perhaps elsewhere, it is NOT appealing in the church. 

In fact, many people see the quarreling and are turned away from Christ and His church.

Bickering and strife nullifies what Jesus said should be a great attraction to Him:

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” (John 13:35 KJV)

Unity in the church is not just nice, it is necessary.

However, that does not mean we should never speak up. Jesus was gentle at the right times, but also tough at the right times.

He cleared the Temple of the moneychangersHe called religious leaders a “brood of vipers, hypocrites, blind guides, whitewashed tombs, and children of hell.” (Read Matthew 23 and check out my article “Jesus Wasn’t Always Seeker Sensitive”)

There is a time to be tough and a time to be tender. Discerning these takes great maturity and a mastery of the next two keys.

02. Desperately avoid two unity killers: “strife and vainglory.”  

The next verse in this passage says “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory” (Philippians 2:3a KJV)

This statement addresses the heart of problems which cause so much disunity in churches, ministries and families.

a. The first unity killer is “strife.”

Various translations render this word “selfish ambition, self-interest, selfishness, rivalry, contention, a spirit of factitiousness.”

This unity killer is manifested in actions such as:

• Gossip

• Cliques

• Cutting words

• Revenge

• Jealousy

“It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” (Proverbs 20:3 ESV)

b.The second unity killer is “vainglory.”

Some seek glory in the church and elsewhere. They want attention, recognition, honor, position, flattery, praise, honor. But it is vainglory, which means empty glory.

This unity killer is manifested in actions such as:

• Wanting to be acknowledged as a leader

• Overconfidence

• Overestimating one’s importance

• Wanting to be on the right committees and perhaps the chairman, for the purpose of honor instead of service

• Concern about being overlooked or neglected

But Jesus said “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:12 ESV)

03. Make it your goal to lift others up.

“In lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:3b-5 KJV)

This is the heart of the solution to disunity. Why? Because most disunity comes from people wanting their own way, wanting to be the big leader, and wanting to look good as explained in point #2 above.

Instead, we are to:

• Regard others as better than ourselves

• Honor others

• Lift others up

• Bless others

• Return insult with blessing

In short, we are to strive to be like Jesus when He humbled Himself: “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:5-8 ESV)

This does NOT mean we are to:

• Become just a doormat

• Be abused without response

• Never stand up for anything

No, it means we are to determine the right time to speak up, to fight for what is right, and decide whether to disagree agreeably or to be assertive.

To help determine when it is right to fight, we must determine our motivations. Wrong motivations are outlined in point #2 above.

Some right motivations for disagreeing are:

• When Scripture is being compromised

• When we should defend someone who is being mistreated

• When we can lovingly correct someone who is walking in sin

• When we can lovingly correct someone who is misunderstanding or misusing Scripture

• When a ministry is being used for personal gain

• When certain that your goal is not personal gain, but helping others

In general, if I’m just fighting for “me” I better be very careful. But if I am standing for Christ and the greater good, I’m on much more solid ground.

I am not saying all this is easy and neither does Scripture. In fact, it is often extremely difficult to practice these 3 keys to maintain unity.

It is everyone’s responsibility to work for unity, regardless of how difficult it may be. 

Here’s an encouraging thought about the church around the world: The church is filled with humble servants, incredible sacrifice, remarkable giving, and anonymous service, all motivated by the love of the Lord.

Sure, occasions of disunity happen. However, that is not the norm. In fact, part of the reason we shake our heads when we hear of church splits is because they are uncommon.

Put a drop of red dye in a jar of pure water and everything appears to change and starts to turn red. So it is with disunity.

Let’s celebrate the majority of time there is unity, and do our very best to follow these 3 keys to maintain unity. 

If you found this article helpful, you might want to check out these articles on resolving conflict:

• 3 Valuable Tools to Resolve Conflict in a Hostile World

• How to face Church Conflicts with Confidence

• 6 Strategies to Handle Insults Without Becoming a Doormat

How To Handle Church Conflicts With Confidence

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One of the big surprises when I started in ministry was the amount of conflict we faced. Right from the get-go in our first church plant, there was intense conflict. Tragically that conflict was never resolved and some people left the church.

CC Image courtesy of Flickr

Not long after that there was another conflict and more people left the church. I was discouraged and mystified at how this could be happening.

Over the years I’ve learned a lot from bad and good conflict experiences.

So here’s some ideas to help you handle church conflicts with confidence:

01. Remember that conflict is normal.

Conflict has existed since the beginning of church ministry. You’ll remember from scripture that early on John Mark left the church planting team led by Barnabas and Paul. His departure brought conflict between Paul and Barnabas and soon afterwards the first “church split.” See Acts 15:36-41.

Later Paul and Peter were in conflict: “But when Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him in public, because he was clearly in the wrong. The other Jewish believers also started acting like cowards along with Peter; and even Barnabas was swept along by their cowardly action.” (Galatians 2:11, 13 GNB)

Sometimes opposition comes from those you least expect. Even Barnabas fell into the trap of legalistic behavior and “Barney the Encourager” became a “discourager” when he opposed Paul.

Note that I didn’t say conflict is necessarily good: I said it is normal. In fact, conflict can be good and handled well if we act in a godly manner and learn from each other.

What is conflict? In its core, conflict is just a clash of opinion. It is either good or bad, godly or ungodly, depending on how we handle it.

02. Stand for Truth even when it results in severe conflict.

Most people don’t like conflict and try to avoid it. It seems often the only time we are willing to endure conflict is if our “rights” are being violated. (See James 4:1-3.) But we also need to be willing to stand up for “truth” and fight for it when necessary.

Always stand for the truth and refuse to compromise, even though conflict may result. Paul had to take on James, Peter, John and even Barnabas (see Galatians 2 above). He did so for the truth of the Gospel being available to all without observing the law.

Recently Carolyn and I talked with a couple who were in a church whose entire church denomination was rejecting biblical teaching. The church had a choice: deny biblical teaching, or follow biblical teaching and separate from the denomination. They chose the right thing and left the denomination. Many churches have been forced to do this and it is a very difficult thing to do.

But the result was wonderful. That church had been declining under liberalism to the point that they had just 12 people attending worship services; a fraction of the participation they had in the past.

But as they did the right thing, God “miraculously” brought them a new pastor through a “chance” connection. It was a former pastor who was working nearby as a farmhand.

He accepted their request to lead the church and it began to grow and thrive. When he left 30 years later his son-in-law became pastor and the church continued to thrive!

“This testimony is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith.” (Titus 1:13 ESV)

“Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:2 ESV)

03. Disagree without being disagreeable.

This is a truism, but it is very important: we must do our best to disagree without being abusive and harsh.

One of our favorite family verses to help keep peace as our boys were growing up was; “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29 NLT)

Another verse reminds us that “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1 ESV)

The way to “win” a conflict is not to “sin” in a conflict. Sin happens when we:

• Use “foul or abusive language”

• Raise our voices in anger

• Use words to demean instead of encourage

• Attack persons rather than attacking the issue

• Put winning or getting our own way above finding the best solution

04. Endure for the sake of Christ.

Remember that our end goal is not to please people, no matter who they are, but always to please our Lord.

Some people are never going to “like” us, no matter what we do. In fact, the more godly and biblical we behave, the more some will dislike us! They’re simply impossible to please. Remember that the Perfect One (Jesus) was ridiculed and tortured to death.

In Galatians 1:10 Paul wrote this powerful challenge: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (ESV)

True Christ-followers live only to please Christ. They endure any conflict, ridicule, criticism, rejection, ostracism, and even persecution when clear issues of faithfulness and integrity are at stake.

Don’t be a coward. Instead, stand for truth and endure church conflict for the sake of Christ and in a Christ-like way.

True Christ-followers live only to please Christ.”

How To Be Smarter About Failure In Life

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In 2010 I was named Alumnus of the Year at Moody Bible Institute. It was a wonderful honor. But one of the thoughts that kept going through my mind was when I failed one of the required courses as a student and almost didn’t graduate!

I thought I had studied hard enough for the midterm in theology, but I did poorly. Thus, I shrugged off the final exam and opted to take whatever low grade I got.

The problem was my score was so low, it dropped my entire grade for the class to failing.

Since I was only one semester from hopeful graduation, I began to sweat bullets. The academic counsellor said the class was not being offered in my last semester.

I was terribly embarrassed and ashamed. I felt like a total failure!

Thankfully, there was one other option. Fort Wayne Bible College offered an equivalent correspondence course. If I repeated the class (with all the extra work of course) and completed it on time, I could graduate.

So I swallowed my pride, dove in to the extra class, finished and passed in time to graduate with my fellow classmates.

Through it all, I learned  some important lessons about how to be smarter about failure:

01. We must harness the immense power in persistence.

“We must run the race that lies ahead of us and never give up.” (Hebrews 12:1b GW)

Some people say that I am bull-doggedly persistent. I say persistence is one of the reasons I have been able to keep going and accomplish things, sometimes despite immense obstacles.

“Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you.” (1 Corinthians 15:58a)

In the early days of Dynamic Church Planting International we could often barely scrape together 10 church planters to train. Today we train thousands each year from every inhabited continent and over 100 nations.

How has this come to pass? One key factor has been godly persistence.

USA President Calvin Coolidge said it well:

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

“Therefore we do not lose heart.” (2 Corinthians 4:16)

02. We must see failures and setbacks as helpful lessons instead of as terrible endings.

Despite beatings, imprisonments, starvation and much more, the Apostle Paul learned lessons and moved on. When he was in need and experiencing hunger, he learned lessons about contentment: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:11-13 ESV)

Can you name this person?

• He was dismissed from a school in Munich because he lacked interest in his studies. But he did not give up.

• He failed to pass an examination for entrance to a polytechnic school in Zurich. But he did not give up.

• He later applied for an assistantship in teaching but was rejected. But he did not give up.He did become a tutor for boys in a Zurich boardinghouse, but was soon fired. But he did not give up.

These facts are from the life of Albert Einstein. He refused to give up and today his name is a household word and a synonym for genius. What did he do when he bumped up against failures? He learned lessons and moved on.

Carole Hyatt, co-author of When Smart People Fail, says that the way to distinguish between smart people and stupid people is that smart people move on after a failure, job loss, rejection or embarrassment. But stupid people get stuck and say, “Failure is the only option for me.” Smart people look at what went wrong and correct it.

03. We must review goals regularly and revise them when necessary

In Acts 13:44-52 we read how the Apostle Paul’s preaching about salvation through Christ was rejected by Jews. So Paul made a strategic adjustment. Instead of just giving up, he “shook the dust off his feet” and became the Apostle to the Gentiles (see Ephesians 3:8).

Is there ever a time to reevaluate and perhaps move on? Yes, certainly. That is an important part of the success process.

Usually changing circumstances should be a signal to pivot instead of quit.

To pivot is to adjust based on barriers or pressures. Pivoting means not giving up, just trying a different angle.

Someone wisely said, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” How’s that for profound!

The wisdom of that statement is that we learn as we go, and what we thought was true and right might turn out to be wrong. So as we learn, we adjust or pivot with the changing reality.

Kodak was famous for manufacturing cameras and the film used in them. Immense money was earned in the business. But then came digital photography. It was time to pivot. In fact, survivability sometimes depends on adjusting. With a pivot and revised goals, more millions could be made by Kodak.

This website (www.markalanwilliams.net) is a reflection of changing realities. In my early ministry, nothing like the internet existed. Then things changed dramatically. Eventually God led me to begin to utilize this newest tool for ministry.

I haven’t given up my ministry vision. But I have pivoted to take advantage of a newer tool for getting the job done.

• Quit? NEVER!

• Pivot? ABSOLUTELY!

We don’t know what tomorrow holds, therefore hold tomorrow lightly and pivot. We must acknowledge that situations change, yet God is ultimately still in control.

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit’—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’” (James 4:13-15 ESV)

So these are some of the lessons I’ve learned about being smarter about failure. The biggest lesson is capsulized in these verses: “But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14 ESV)